Just Breathe
by supermegafoxieawesomehot
Summary: Never did Rachel think that she would be a wife and mother before she was even twenty years old. Here she is though Broadway star trapped in an unhappy marriage and sleeping with her former high school enemy turned best friend. Now a visit from two men in dress blues turn her whole world upside down. Faberry with a dash of Finchel.
1. Chapter 1

Since as long as she could remember Rachel Berry had a plan, she would graduate high school, head off to school in New York where she would do everything she could to make it on Broadway, she would win her first Tony by the age of twenty-five for a leading part in an original musical. Then and only then would she take a year off of broadway to have her first child with a man who she was head over heals in love with.

See the thing about all that is, life doesn't always turn out the way you plan it. It just kind of happens. Sure she got her broadway dream and her tony at the ripe old age of twenty-two. But along the way she got married to her high school sweetheart and had his child before she was even Twenty. Juggling motherhood, school, auditions, and a long distance marriage to a solider was nearly the death of her career but Quinn ended up going to NYU and Santana moved to New York as well. Between the three of them they were her saving grace.

She owed the two women who had been her worst enemies in high school her career. While she loved her son more than anything and wouldn't trade him for the world she certainly wished she had waited for real love not high school infatuation. Now she had a husband who she saw every other weekend if she was lucky and who was out of the country for three to six months a year.

She never thought that when she married Finn Hudson at nineteen years old that she would spend the majority of her marriage alone. Rachel Berry doesn't do so well alone. It was only reasonable that she would fall in love with her best friend who had come out of the closet upon moving away from her homophobic father. Quinn was everything she had always wanted out of a partner.

It helped that she spent as much time around Nikolai as Rachel did. And her six year old son adored the other woman. It wasn't that she didn't love Finn because she really honestly loved him with all her heart. How could she not love the man who gave her the best thing she had in life. She just wasn't in love with him anymore and she knew he wasn't in love her. Had it not been for Mason the pair would have divorced long ago.

"Hey Niko pick up your toys everyone will be here shortly." Rachel called from the kitchen.

"But Mama I'm just going to bring them right back out when Anya gets here." Nikolai argued. He was getting to that age where he has to argue with everything his mother told him to do. What made it worse was that he was a very bright boy who could come up with some very good points. Needless to say he didn't take after his father.

Anya was Brittany and Santana's five year old daughter that they had adopted from Russia a little over four months ago. She and Niko look as though they could be twins, both with dark brown hair, tiny little things. Though where Niko had Rachel's tan complexion Anya was fair skinned with freckles. Niko's eyes were a golden brown while Anya's were bright blue.

"Niko." Rachel warned sternly.

"Yes mamma." he grumbled but did as she said.

Rachel heard the door opened and smiled to herself knowing that the only person who entered her home without knocking was the same person who hardly ever left. Sure enough two warm arms wrapped around her waist from behind and kissed her bare shoulder.

"Hey Baby." Quinn whispered in her ear. Rachel turned around in her arms so that she was pressed between Quinn's body and the counter top. "I've missed you."

Rachel grinned and pressed her lips against Quinn's. The other woman pulled Rachel even closer by her hips and deepened the kiss. "I've miss you too." Rachel gasped when Quinn kissed down her neck. "Where's Niko?" She asked her voice husky with want. It had been three weeks since they had last seen one another due to Rachel filming a movie in Los Angeles.

"Living room." She mumbled.

Quinn nodded and nipped her neck once more before pulling away with a grin. "I can't wait to get you alone tonight."

Rachel winked and offered her a piece of the strawberry she was cutting up to mix with the salad. "Neither can I, three weeks is a long time."

"Aunt Quinn!" Niko yelled launching himself at her legs. Quinn picked the little boy up and tossed him in the air.

"Hey small fry what've you been up to?"

Niko rolled his golden brown eyes and sighed. "Mamma's making me clean."

Quinn laughed and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Then you better get to it looks like you've made a mess."

It was times like these when Niko looked to thrilled to be around Quinn that Rachel didn't know whether to be thankful or feel guilty. Here she was playing house with Quinn while her husband was overseas fighting a war. It was wrong, she knew it was but she couldn't stay away. She needed Quinn not only for herself but also for her little boy who missed his father far more than he would ever let on. The other woman helped elevate some of that. She was so good with Niko that there were times when Rachel was sure he favored Quinn.

Quinn turned to Rachel and saw the guilty expression that had taken over Rachel's features and frowned but didn't say anything. All of this was Rachel's doing, she's the one who came to her in the middle of the night three years ago and kissed her, she's the one whose married, the one who said 'I love you' first and most importantly she's the one who won't leave her husband.

She hates Finn. She hates that he just leaves his wife alone with their son. Quinn hates that Rachel doesn't see what an ass Finn truly is and that she feels so guilty for their affair even though Finn is cheating on her too. Mostly she hates that Rachel is not one to give up which is one of the reasons she refuses to let go of her marriage. A divorce means failure. Failure is unacceptable.

But god does she love Rachel Berry more than she's ever loved anyone in her life and so she sits back and she deals with the absentee husband. She helps take care of the boy who she thinks of as her own all the while thinking that she would never do what Finn is doing. She would never willingly leave this family behind because this is her family. The two beautiful people are all she's ever wanted in life.

There's a quick rapping at the door and Rachel looks to Quinn confused because the only other people coming are Santana and Brittany that's not their knock. Quinn swings Niko up on her back and runs to the door making the little boy giggle in delight. She's struck once again by the overwhelming love she's got for a child that isn't even hers.

When she swings the door open she nearly drops Niko in shock. Standing opposite of her are two men in their dress blues.

"Shit." Quinn whispered unable to stop her self the boy on her back giggled and patted her shoulder.

"Aunt Quinn you owe me a quarter." She could feel him smiling against her back and it broke her heart that his whole world was about to crash down around him. As much as she hated Finn Hudson she didn't want this.

"Q? Whose at the door?" Rachel called, Quinn could hear her footsteps approaching and she wanted to freeze time. She wanted to stop Rachel from seeing these men.

The soldiers smiles sadly at her. "Are you Mrs. Hudson?" one of them ask.

"You look like my daddy when he comes home." Quinn closes her eyes at that knowing Niko would never get to see his father again. It's enough to bring tears to her eyes. She shakes her head.

"Berry actually I didn't take my husbands name." Rachel replies from the hallway before she can see who is at the door. When she finally does the wine glass in her hand falls to the floor, sending wine and shards of glass all over the entry way.

"Damn it." She says her voice cracking noticeably. "I- um I'm so sorry. Quinn would you show them to the living room I will be there as soon as I get this cleaned up." She laughed nervously and kneeled down on the floor, Quinn cringed as she watched Rachel start to pick up the glass off the floor a little to quickly causing her to cut her hand blood starts to seep out of the wound and hit the floor mixing with the white wine.

Rachel just falls forward at the sight of her own blood and lets out a cry so heart breaking Quinn just wants to curl up in a little ball and plug her ears because she doesn't ever want to hear that noise again. Instead she holds the door open for the two men to come in, puts Niko down and kneels so that she's eye level with Rachel.

"Sweetie... Rachel come on lets get you cleaned up so you can talk to the men okay?"

Rachel shook her head but let Quinn help her up and into one of the chairs at the kitchen table. The blonde woman kissed Rachel on the forehead before she grabbed the first aide kit from under the sink. What had started out as one cut turned to several when Rachel feel forward but Quinn worked quickly pulling the glass from Rachel's hands, cleaning the wounds thoroughly and wrapping them with gauze.

"Yo, Berry quit making out with Q and let me in!" Santana yelled through the door. Quinn looked up at the men and nodded for one of them to open the door. Santana walked through the door with Anya on her hip and Brittany behind her. She looked wide eyed from the soldiers to the broken bloody wine glass on the floor and then to Rachel's gauze covered hands.

She could see Santana taking it all in realizing what is happening, grief flashes over her expression before she paints on a big smile claps her hands together. "Nikki baby boy who wants to go to the park?" She looks to Rachel for conformation but the other woman is just staring blankly at her hands so Quinn nods and mouths a thank you as her two best friends walk right back out of the house.

The two men approach, introducing themselves as Brian and Andrew. They were both in the same platoon as Finn when they had been ambushed. Rachel listened as they told her how brave her husband had been, that Andrew had volunteered to inform Rachel because Finn had pulled him out of their burning humvee only seconds before it blew up saving Andrew's life and in the process loosing his own.

They talk about how Finn spoke of Rachel and Niko often, how he always carried a picture of the two of them in his uniform breast pocket. Brian said Finn was one of the bravest men he had ever know. Rachel can't help but think that Finn finally got what he wanted. He died with honor for his dad.

A/N: So my first fic that has just flowed out of me like they used to in over a year. Thank god my creative juices are back :) Hopefully it was up to ya'll's standards. This will probably be a two/three shot with Rachel dealing with both her guilt and grief from the loss of her husband.

If I get enough feedback maybe I'll write more than two chapters it just depends on if you guys like what you read...


	2. Safe and Sound

Quinn leans heavily against the doorframe of Rachel's bedroom, watching with as the love of her life sleeps restlessly after crying herself to sleep in Quinn's arms. She has no idea to handle this situation other than to just be there for Rachel. What do you do when your girlfriends husband dies? The selfish part of her knew that this meant Rachel was all hers now but honestly this wasn't how she wanted Rachel.

"Quinn?" comes the quiet whimper from the bed. She jumps to attention and crawls in the bed rubbing Rachel's back in a comforting manner.

"I'm right here baby." Quinn says softly as she brushes the hair away from Rachel's face and lightly kissing her on the cheek.

The tears that had only and hour ago stopped start up again so Quinn lays down next to Rachel and wipes them away with her thumbs. "Rachel, Everything is going to be okay. You are going to be okay."

Rachel shakes her head and swallows hard when she speaks again her voice is hoarse from all the crying. "It's not... I'm not worried about me. I know I'm going to be okay because I have you. It's just..." She trails off closing her eyes tight to fight off the overwhelming wave of sadness.

"He's never going to be the same Quinn. Niko's just this innocent child who worships his father this is going to break his heart. I can't have that... He's my baby boy Quinn I cannot loose my sweet baby."

Quinn pulls Rachel to her hugging the concerned mother tightly to her chest. She should have known this was the case. Rachel had always been adamant in keeping Niko's innocence intact she wanted him to stay a child for as long as she possibly could and this could very well destroy everything. She was right Niko would never be the same once Rachel told him his dad was dead.

"What am I supposed to say to him? How do I tell my baby his daddy isn't ever coming home?"

Quinn rubbed her back soothingly while she thought. "You just have to sit him down and explain Rach. Niko is good kid and it will be hard in the beginning but he's got you and I will be here every step of the way."

Rachel's brow crinkles in confusion. "Why are you so good to me?" she ask abruptly.

Quinn pulls back to look her in the eyes. "What do you mean? I love you Rachel you know that."

The other woman sat up and pushed her long brown hair out of her eyes shaking her head back and forth quickly. "I don't deserve you, I'm a terrible girlfriend. Three years we've been together, three years Quinn we should be living together or engaged or something but no I couldn't leave a man whose been cheating on me since before we even got married. You are so good to me, so good to my son and I just keep hurting you over and over again. I am so sorry."

Quinn took Rachel's hands in her own pulling them to her lips to kiss her knuckles. She couldn't help the low sad chuckle that fell from her lips. Rachel truly amazed her, here she was having just lost her husband and she's worried about Quinn. When all this time Quinn has been worried that she didn't deserve Rachel.

"Rachel, I am so lucky to have you. In whatever way I can. For two years I threw slushies in your face and insulted you every chance I got. Never did I think I would earn your friendship much less your love. I don't deserve you and you have nothing to be sorry for baby."

Rachel laughed quietly and whipped her cheeks dry. "We're a mess." She said.

Quinn couldn't help but agree because they were in fact a mess. "But we're a mess together."

Brown eyes met hazel and Rachel sighed lightly. "Sing to me?"

"And what would you like me to sing to you Broadway?" Rachel smiled at the nickname Quinn had begun to use when they first became friends and shrugged.

"Whatever comes to your mind."

Quinn nodded and started to think of the perfect song to sing to Rachel. She didn't sing much only when Rachel asked it of her Quinn's creative outlet had shifted from music to art and photography since high school.

"I remember tears streaming down your face

When I said, "I'll never let you go"

When all those shadows almost killed your light

I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"

But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

She pulled Rachel to her and laid them back.

"Just close your eyes

The sun is going down

You'll be alright

No one can hurt you now

Come morning light

You and I'll be safe and sound

Somewhere in the distance she heard the traffic outside, horns honking, doors slamming.

Don't you dare look out your window darling

Everything's on fire

The war outside our door keeps raging on

Hold on to this lullaby

Even when the music's gone

Gone

Just close your eyes

The sun is going down

You'll be alright

No one can hurt you now

Come morning light

You and I'll be safe and sound"

"I love your voice." Rachel whispered exhaustion heavy in her voice.

"I love you."

A/N: This was a little hard to write for me so I hope it's okay! Next chapter we explore Niko's reaction to his father's death as well as seeing the Berry/Hudson/Hummel families. Also Maybe a little tabloid drama seeing as Rachel is in fact a very famous broadway star in the process of transitioning to the big screen. Leave me some feed back maybe some suggestions on which way to go with the rest of this story. I'm thinking four parts at the most.


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